Tonight's the Night

Should I be embarrassed that the extra spring in my step today is due to the finale of Project Runway? I'm not even that in to fashion...if looking chic were free I'd be all about it, but I seriously lack in the funds department and to put forth more than a miniscule effort is out of the question. At least until I either a. win the lottery or
b. write the great American novel
Neither seems particularly plausible since I don't buy lottery tickets and am not currently writing and can't even conceive of said novel.
Regardless, I am obsessed with Project Runway. I love watching these creative people throw together outfits and I am really excited to see their collections. I am a fan of Michael. I think he's been a bit off kilter lately, but his stuff is generally very modern and innovative. Laura and Uli are both sort of one trick ponies, but Laura is excellent in her tailoring and her fit. Jeffrey is just such an ass that I can't help but root against him but he does have a different and interesting look (his designs, not him--his hair is gag-worthy).

Tonight's diversion will be a welcome addition to the list of distractions that have been keeping me from really deciding whether or not to have a C-section or to boldy go where I have gone before and hope like hell that it has a better outcome. I won't bore with my pros and cons list, but there are enough cons on each side that I generally feel pretty crappy these days. Add to my list the general fear that I have of going into labor without a good solution of what to do with J. I have a few options but all have major contingencies and or guilt inducing side affects. Why can't there be a tranquilizer for a four year old and a daddy marsupial pouch. She could just sleep for a couple of days...kidding people! Basically I am just really tired. Tired of moving; tired of having to step outside of my shell and meet people and try to see if I click with people etc. I have a mental spaz-out when I try to tell someone my phone number...it still doesn't flow off my tongue. The other day I wrote down an address from a house we lived in 5 years ago. Yesterday, I started writing my Hawaii address--I am having a location identity crisis and the weird thing is that despite the fact that we moved not long ago from Hawaii, I had a hell of a time giving directions to a friend of mine who is going to Oahu next month. I am not fully here nor am I there.
I know, I know, poor me. There are people dying in Africa, North Korea is clearly up to no good, Iraq is a quagmire that continues to take lives and drain military families and I can't remember my phone number.
So, in the absence of any clarity on all things important, I will be popping popcorn and tuning in to see who's collection is the swankiest tonight on Bravo at 9PM.