And in this corner...

There are some people who think that if the world was run by women it would be a much more peaceful place. I think that if the world's affairs were left solely to women the wars would continue to rage and the intensity of the fighting might even be be more ferocious. Women can be real bitches.

I recently made the mistake of trying to do a little reading on Cesarean Sections as my doctor is recommending highly that I consider that option when delivering my baby due to some complications that arose last time and also due to the possibility of future complications that would be hard to manage and very difficult to fix. Valuing my ability to use the bathroom when I am in fact in the bathroom, I decided to check out this C-Section business. I went to Baby Center online and typed in C-Section and was given several links, including one to a discussion group thread in which a lady had asked my exact question--she had a fourth degree tear with the first child and the doctor recommended a C-Section so she could avoid prolapsed uterus, urinary and fecal incontinence etc.
The string of replies were shocking to me. While there were a great deal of women who had encouraging things to say and who had dealt with similar circumstances, I could not belive the high and mighty women who wrote in just to chastise her for considering a C-Section. The comments varied from " I can't believe that you would choose a MAJOR surgery over a tear!" or my personal favorite " I needed stitches and didn't even hurt!" (clearly the person did not have a total tear).
I think that childbirth the natural way is a wonderful thing; what I don't ascribe to is the dogma of natural childbirth. There is such a venomous judgment that comes from many who are card carrying members of the "my-way-or the highway birth club" and it is disheartening. I had arguably one of the crappiest birth experiences possible, super-long, never fully dilating, forceps, needing oxygen, water being broken too early for me, fainting, and a horrific tear. Much of this was due to medical intervention and I was disappointed that it happened that way. Disappointed in part because it will affect my next birth experience and perhaps necessitate a C-section. I am not certain of what I will decide to do, but I do know that a healthy baby and a healthy nether region is what is really important to me.
The other raging female slugfest surrounds the decison to stay-at-home or to go back to work after having a baby. I think women need to give it a rest. I am tired of the backhandedness from both sides. I stay at home because I want to and because I can and because we've moved so much in the last four years that I don't really know where I would have worked. I don't judge my fellow moms who choose to go back to work, or who need to financially or need to mentally etc. I just sometimes wish that women would let their guard down a bit around each other and endeavor to love and accept more.