I Never Knew That...

I'm not a therapist, but if I were I would recommend that couples swap ipods. (ok mine is some other type of mp3 player, but you know what I mean). I had my husband's Shuffle (nifty little thing) the other day when I went to work out and I found the experience to be somewhat like a sanctioned peek in his diary. It should be said here that I don't mean because his songs spoke to me literally, it's just that it was a chance to see what moves him. We don't usually sit and debate our top ten songs like some scene from High Fidelity, but swapping players was a springboard for that very conversation. Incidentally, we both find Johnny Cash to be a kick-ass workout--we both feel a little tougher and sometimes that's not so bad. To me it was somewhat enlightening that despite my husband's shift in clothes, career, and locale, that he still brushes the dust off his old Black Crowes albums and rocks out.

I think changes in context are essential. We just had friends over for a low-key pizza night and I was struck by my husband's happy energy while we entertained. He doesn't really do low-key when we entertain i.e. the kids snacks are artfully displayed on a platter and a new plant was a must-have for the occasion. This little idosyncrasy is one of his most endearing qualities. I love to watch him scurry about (and believe me 2o minutes before guests arrive, he does scurry) and I appreciate all his little extra touches. I think it is good for him to see me around my friends too. I know that he loves to see me laugh.

Occasionally, we read the same book and when we do, it is always fun to see what the other thinks about it. I often misjudge what he'll like or won't like and he doesn't always know what I'll think either. Our recent read: A Question of Attraction had us both laughing hysterically. He read it first, so when I was reading it and snickering, he came around and peeked at the page I was on and had a good laugh too.

True, I am mostly pretty predictable. He recently ordered an omelette for me at a new restaurant when I was in the bathroom because he knew it was what I would order. "You just like zucchini with your eggs," he offered as his explanation. He was right! I was pleased at that moment to be known so well, but I also want to make a conscious effort to continue to seek. There is much to know about this man I love and there is much to know about me.